World diabetes day (November 14th) is the day that diabetes is the center of attention worldwide. It is also the first day of my ‘new’ life with diabetes. Do I feel different? To be honest, not really… yet I know that I will look back at this day for the rest of my life. I can remember the things I did the first couple of days after my diagnosis with diabetes. This day feels a little less drastic then after my diagnosis, but it is still the first day of the rest of my life.
My sugars are okay, actually they’re pretty good, maybe even perfect. Everyone around me is happy, but I’m not ready to feel jubilated quite yet. Every time I measure, my heart skips a beat. Pfew, sugars are still good. But every time I think “when will it go wrong again?”. The trust in my sugars is non-existent.
After the phone call it all hit me with the speed of lightning. It has been only four days since I know I can get treated, whilst I was expecting it not to be before summer 2015. My hope was long gone and took “everything-will-be-okay” with him. I knew I would get treated someday, but the treatment only works in 80% of the cases. With my luck I kind of expected me to be one of the 20. That the treatment was something I would do so I could look at other alternatives and move on. And now the treatment is done. It even seems like it has worked. But the question “how long it will remain like this” lingers…
After being released from the hospital they mentioned the first three weeks are the most intense. There is a big chance of severe hypo’s in combination with exhaustion and figuring out a new set-up insulin wise. That is a little scary, I now only receive half (!!) of the insulin at lunch time. The insurance company must be happy because I use at least 1/3 less insulin. Despite that being a good thing (as it’s a sign the treatment worked), there is still some fear. I do not yet dare to trust that the treatment has indeed worked. After the first lunch bolus with the new ratio’s I am fidgety the entire afternoon, waiting for my sugars to go way up high. But a miracle occurs, I remain ridiculously consistent. The good sugars are here to stay, now I just need to believe it!